Disenchanted Delusion
by PrincessPears
Summary: If there was ever a time to go crazy, it might as well be during the apocalypse.
1. Chapter 1

_**"Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross**_

"Shit!" It was a strange thing, hearing such an ugly word come out of such a pretty thing. The curse laced with desperation still managed to sound delicate. However, the young woman currently wrestling a walker was anything but.

The pale thin arms held the body at bay, while it's rotten jaw snapped at her, frantically trying to tear at any piece of exposed flesh it could reach. The girl was really reconsidering her decision to raid the abandoned gas station. All she had managed to get out of the minor mission so far was a pack of matches and a chocolate bar that seemed to have melted and re-hardened several times, now currently in the former state.

Grunts came from both parties, as the blonde utilized the adrenaline flowing through her body to hold the corpse at bay with her dominant arm, while reaching for the knife on her hip with the other hand. Grasping the handle between her fingers, she pulled it from it's sheath. Rearing back, she slammed the shiny blade into the side of the soft skull with a huff. She would definitely never get used to the sickening squelch that came when the knife made contact.

There was no need to pull the metal out of the walker's head, as it came out on it's own when the body crumpled to the floor. The woman's face twisted, disgusted as she wiped the thick dark blood on her already filthy jeans.

"Well, that was stupid." The rough voice sent slight chills down her spine, but there was no sign of fear showing on her features, only annoyance was present on her face.

"Shut up." She mumbled as she sheathed her weapon.

"Come on, Beth. Didn't I teach ya better than that?" Turning around, she saw him leaning up against the counter, feet crossed at the ankle, crossbow slung over his shoulder, hands grasping at the strap.

"Yeah, that did us a lot of good." She huffed, careful as she stepped over the walker she had killed moments before, continuing her search through the ransacked store. Her haul so far had been pitiful.

"Don't be bitter, girl. It ain't suit ya." It was really grinding on her nerves, how he seemed to be the voice of reason these days.

There was no reply from her, just silence as she furrowed her brow in concentration, pushing aside a couple spilled bottles of motor oil to see if anything was hiding behind. What little hope she had left dwindled as she came up empty handed shelf after shelf.

"Can you believe how stupid some people are? World goes to shit and they waste their time stealing the fuckin' cash." She stood up on her toes to peak over the aisle to see him now behind the counter, fingers poking inside the open register was still met with no reply from Beth. By now he knew that she preferred the silence, but that didn't stop him from continuing. "Man, I'd kill for a Twinkie right now." Beth's stomach growled at his words as he let out a chuckle.

"How can you be so damn cheerful right now?" She stopped scavenging a few feet away from him and put a hand on her cocked out hip, full of fire as always.

He put his hands on either side of the register, leaning forward on his palms, drawing Beth's already short attention span to his tanned biceps. The sight used to make her mildly swoon, but now in her depressed state, all she could focus on were the patches of dirt present on his skin. He needed a bath even more than she did. "Everyone needs a candle in the darkness, Beth."

She dropped her arm to her side and straightened out her leg, the false icy exterior melting aware. Closing her eyes and hanging her head, she sighed. It was long, shaky, and therapeutic. "I miss you, Daryl."

She could hear it in his voice, that he was now smiling, which was something that used to bring a grin to her own face, but now only brought on an ache in her chest. "I miss you too, Beth."

Opening her eyes again, she looked back up. Her eyes met nothing, just as she knew would happen. Daryl wasn't there and never had been. Not for a while. She bit her lip and adjusted the small straps on her backpack, hiking it up on her back before heading for the door. The confined space of the convenience store now felt as though it was suffocating her.

Pushing open the front door, she was temporarily blinded by the sun. Blinking away the black spots in her vision, she continued on down the highway on foot. Beth never really had a destination in mind. It took everything in her to just barely survive.

All alone, with only her thoughts to keep her company, Beth wondered when Daryl might show up again. It was becoming more frequent that she would 'see' him, most likely due to her isolated existence, and Beth knew that meant anything but good news. But on the other hand, she figured if you're going to go crazy, the perfect time might be during the apocalypse.

**I know it's short, but I wanted to get this out tonight. Continue? Don't continue? Love it? Hate it? Let me know...**

**I've been a horrible author and I'm sorry. Life is kicking my ass but I really want to get back into writing and this was the idea that got me into gear. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Rating change! Let there be smut! Ya'll should know by now I can't go that long without putting it into a story. **

_It was almost silent in the cell block of the prison the group called home, save for the snores coming from Rick's cell, or the muted giggles coming from Maggie and Glenn's. If everyone else hadn't been sleeping, or too busy fooling around to notice, then they might have heard the heavy breathing, the muffled moans, or the creak of the unforgiving prison bunk bed coming from a certain hunter's own cell._

_It was becoming more frequent, their night time meetings. At one time, it meant nothing. Daryl only blowing off steam, using it as a release. Beth was a blossoming young women who needed to get out her 'frustrations' some how, and she chose to do that by giving the archer her virginity...and then some. But now, neither of them could say without a doubt that it didn't mean something more than that. It was only natural, there were bound to be feelings involved if you kept that kind of relationship long enough, though neither would willingly admit that out loud. It didn't matter though, if anyone were to catch a glimpse of what was going on right now, late at night in the dark prison bunk, they would be able to see, clear as day, that there was something more between Daryl Dixon and Beth Greene, something more than just sex._

_The passion between them made the frigid night air feel stale and sweltering, as Beth's shirt rode up higher on her torso, while Daryl left a sloppy trail of open mouthed kisses up to her chest. When his tongue reached the soft mounds of flesh, he yanked her shirt up higher, eager to rid it from her body. Beth got the hint and grabbed the hem, pulling it up over her head, further messing up the sticky curls on her head, and throwing it to the floor beside them. When met with the sight of her bare breasts, Daryl softly groaned, knowing he would never fully get used to being able to thoroughly appreciate such a beautiful body. _

_Beth's nails clawed up his naked back, practically purring like a cat in heat, as Daryl teased her nipples. Her fingers running over his scars gave him chills along his spine, but they were passed the point of him hiding them from her. She arched her back up into his face, silently begging for more. She knew, if they had all the time in the world, he would gladly suck and nip at the tender skin until they were chapped and raw. Unfortunately, time was a luxury they didn't have these days, and so Daryl, not one to waste any, moved his hand up from her hip, gently brushing his fingers over her smooth lower belly, making Beth's toes curl. _

_A gasp erupted from her mouth as his fingers crept underneath the waistband of her night shorts. His calloused fingers petted the blonde curls, slowly, almost achingly so, making their way to the intended destination. Dipping between her silky folds, he was met with the evidence of her arousal, feverish heat and a heavenly wetness. Using her juices to lube up his finger, he pushed one of his thick digits inside of her. The response was immediate, Beth throwing her head back and her mouth dropping open, and he was fairly sure she was breathless for a moment. _

_He moved his finger in and out a few times before adding another, knowing by now she needed this in preparation for what was to come. He made sure to make that 'come hither' motion with his fingers, knowing it drove her wild. Old reliable seemed to work as Beth's hands left his back to grip the grimy sheets on either side of her. _

_When he felt like she had been stretched enough, he pulled his head off of her heaving bosom, sitting back on his feet. She looked stunningly beautiful, wearing nothin' but a pair of shorts, on his bed, illuminated by the moonlight. _

_His hands gripped the waistband of the thin shorts and started pulling them down, while Beth helped by shimmying her legs. When the fabric was hanging on one her ankles, Daryl couldn't help but dive right back in. Eagerly, his lips claimed hers. _

_While their tongues battled, Beth's tiny hands made their way down his broad chest, nails scratching down his abs, before being met with the button on his filthy pants. He bit his lip to suppress the groan that wanted to escape, not realizing exactly how painfully hard he was until just now. Quickly undoing it, she pulled them open, forcing the zipper down as well, and wrapped her hand around his rigid manhood, freeing it from the figurative denim prison, giving it a few quick pumps. Pre-cum was leaking, and Beth used her thumb to swirl it around his throbbing purple head. Feeling the searing heat of his heavy cock on her stomach was driving Beth insane, as she tried to nudge his body down, wanting to line him up with her entrance._

_This time, it was Daryl who took the hint, as he scooched down just enough to rub the tip of his dick up and down her slit, gathering her juices just before pushing into her tight hole. The first thrust was always slow, but much to his disbelief, Daryl had learned that Beth was not a gentle lover. So when he was fully seated inside of her, he pulled right back out before slamming in again, holding nothing back. He also knew her well enough to throw a hand over her mouth to cover up the yelp that he knew would come out. _

_Her eyes twinkled with fire, loving the feeling of his hand muffling her screams while he pumped in and out of her, unrelenting in power and speed. She was sure there would be bruises on her thighs the next morning, and that thought only made her wetter. She wound her legs around him, ankles crossing, trying to pull him in even deeper, although knowing that wasn't possible. With each thrust, his cock pushed against that sweet spot inside of her, and the closeness of their bodies was providing exquisite friction to the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs. _

_Beth could tell Daryl was just as close to coming as she was, when the hand he kept over her mouth tightened it's hold, and his movements becoming more erratic. She knew though by now that he would never finish before she did. Such a gentleman._

_He angled his head up so that his lips were brushing against her ear, and the sound of his panting was positively erotic. What she didn't expect was for him to speak in a rough whisper. "Cum for me, baby girl." That was enough to send Beth over the edge, plunging her body into intense toe curling pleasure. The way her pussy gripped his dick when she came was what pushed Daryl to find his own release, the velvety cavity milking him dry. _

_When he had nothing left to give, he collapsed on top of her and then rolled over onto his side. Both of them fought to steady their breathing and calm their racing hearts. Daryl put an arm around Beth and pulled her in against his chest, lightly pressing a kiss to the top of her head. No, this was definitely more than sex._

Beth awoke with a start, shooting up off the ripped up sleeping bag, in the middle of her temporary little 'camp' in an abandoned shack out in the middle of the woods. Sweat dripped down her face as she threw the cover off of her and pulled her knees up to her chest. She let her head hand between her legs, trying to will away the nauseous feeling bubbling up in her stomach.

"Sounded like a mighty fine dream there, sweetheart." She breathed in deep before looking up at Daryl, who looked content sitting up on the counter top in the kitchen. She wanted to slap the smug smile right off his face, and she almost did when he wiggled his eyebrows at her. At one point, she would have felt pride, seeing Daryl Dixon so at ease, laughing, enjoying life. Except now he wasn't enjoying life. He was dead, nothing more than a sick delusion.

"Go away." She mumbled, balling her hands up into fists so hard that her nails dug into her palms.

"You don't mean that, Beth." He spoke softly, but with a hint of cockiness, like he knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling at all times. Maybe he did, as he was just a figment of her own demented imagination.

It was hard for her to try and force these images of him away, wanting nothing more to run to him and wrap her arms around him forever, but she knew that if she really did that, she would be met with nothing more than thin air. "You've been gone for almost a year now, Daryl. Why can't you just stay gone? It'd make things a hell of a lot easier on me."

"I can't stay gone, because you don't want me gone Beth. Only you can control that and you know it." It was a weird day, when Daryl became the voice of reason.

"I can't control the fact that I've gone full blown crazy." She threw her head back and looked at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears forming in her eyes from escaping. It was too much. Being alone, seeing the visions of her deceased lover, and trying to stay alive in a world full of walking corpses was getting to be a little too much for Beth to handle. The only reason that she kept going at this point, instead of opting out, was that she knew Daryl would have died for nothing.

"You ain't gone crazy, Beth. I think your mind is just a little fucked up." She glared at him for the harsh but well-meaning comment. "But in this world, I think everyone's mind is a little fucked up." Letting out a snort, she couldn't help but agree with that theory.

Deciding it was time to head out for the day, to hopefully find some more food, Beth got up and rolled up the sleeping bag. Tying a knot around it, she heard another one of Daryl's remarks. "That's some sloppy work there."

"Like it matters?" She huffed. Daryl held up his hands, once again in mock surrender. She continued to pack up what little belongings she had. When it was all bagged up, she was about to throw the bag over her shoulder before she suddenly set it back down. Opening up the pack, she dug around until she found what she had been looking for. Pulling out the black leather and shaking it out, she threw it on. She felt utterly ridiculous in Daryl's vest, as it dwarfed her tiny frame, but it was something that gave her just a little bit of comfort and a whole lot of confidence.

"Looks good on you." Beth shrugged on the backpack, the dangling sleeping bag hitting the backs of her legs. She knew Daryl was right and she should have tied it tighter and neater, but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of being right once again.

"You always did think that." For the first time in a while, there was a glimmer of humor, and a little bit of mischief in her eyes. She headed for the door, and was going to turn around to say something else, but when she did, she found that Daryl had already 'left', just like he always did. She sighed, and headed out, hoping to put some of the skills he had taught her to use. Maybe she could bag a couple squirrels today.

The pessimist in her made her sigh. "Not fucking likely." She spoke to herself. Beth Greene's luck seemed to be running out, little by little, and she knew it wasn't going to be long until it was gone completely.

**Obviously we don't fully understand Beth's feelings yet, and won't until we know what happened. But it is obvious that she's hurting and that she is angry. Let me know what you think and if I should still continue. Love you guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

Trudging along through the humid Georgia air, Beth cursed the world again. She had sqatted away at least a dozen mosquitos and was sure she had a tick or two attached to her body, which was in definite need of a wash, which was why when she found the small stream she had gone to a couple weeks before, she sent a silent thanks up above, just in case anyone was listening. She stripped down to her underwear, knowing it wasn't the safest or smartest thing to do, but not really giving a shit either, considering how filthy she was.

She wished she could find a lake, or even some sort of river, so she could bathe properly, but for now this would have to do. She set her pack to the side, but keeping her knife close, and then dunked her worn out clothes into the water. Without soap, she'd just have to deal with what little friction her exhausted body could provide. When she felt the clothes were about as clean as they were gonna get, she laid them over a conveniently placed rock, allowing them to sit out and dry.

Her options were limited with how she could bathe herself, so she decided to just lay in the running water, allowing it to wash over her as she stared up at the clouds. "Now I know for damn sure I taught ya better than that." _Of fucking course he's 'back'. _She wasn't sure how she was going to handle this, him coming to her more often was taking a toll on her mind and on her nerves, and especially on her heart."Laying around, pretty much naked, in the middle of the woods, with water pluggin' up your ears."

She reached over, yanking her knife out of the earth, and held her arm straight up. "See? I'm good." She was sure she heard a scoff.

Allowing herself to close her eyes for a moment, she also let herself do something she didn't do often, for fear it would drive her even further into insanity, but found herself doing it more and more lately. She thought of what it would be like, if Daryl were there with her, for real. She knew she definitely wouldn't be in this position, at least not alone. Towards the end, Daryl had been especially handsy, not that she had minded.

"You're smilin'." She hadn't even realized she did in fact have a small grin on her face, until he had brought it up. "Miss seein' that."

"I'm surprised I can still smile, after all that's happened."

She wasn't sure many people would be able to smile in her situation.

_"I'm not gonna leave you!" But she had. She was reaching out for him when he had told her they'd meet by the fallen tree, the one they had passed about an hour before, and she ran, like a coward, leaving Daryl to fend off the walkers alone. Her lungs burned with every step, and she thought she could feel her heart literally cracking the further away from him she got. She knew he wasn't stupid, and thought of her to be a little naive, and that's why she knew he would try to lead them away. Trick her into running into the other direction while he tried to play hero. _

_Before she was even half way to their designated meeting spot, Beth stopped, chest heaving, putting her hands on her knees while desperately drying not to vomit up what little she had left in her stomach. 'What am I doing?' She thought to herself. She had to go back. Had to go back for him. The thought of leaving him there, to very possibly die for her was one that left her feeling nothing but dread. _

_So she did. She wasn't sure how she had found the energy to sprint back in the direction she had come, her body just seemed to know how important this was, but when she arrived in the clearing where they had separated, she found nothing but a couple dead walkers and a whole lot of footprints. Adrenaline surged through her veins as she studied the tracks, hoping to distinguish Daryl's from the walkers'. When she caught sight of his large boot print, obviously with a more steady gait than the others, she followed the trail, thankful he had taught her some of his skills._

_She was utterly exhausted, but pushed herself to continue, knowing she had to get to him. By now their were leaves stuck in her hair, sweat dripping from her body, and scratches all over her skin, but it was only when she came upon his vest, the one with those damn angel wings stitched onto the back, did she allow herself to collapse. She grabbed the fabric between her fingers and frantically glanced around, the panic rising, her breaths coming quicker and shallower, and then her eyes stopped searching. There, few yards away, laid a crossbow surrounded by little puddles of blood. That was when she allowed the tears to fall. _

_After crying for what seemed like days, but was actually only a matter of minutes, she wiped her face, and tried to be strong. She shouldn't doubt him, he was a survivor. She gathered up the vest and crossbow and began her journey back to their meeting place, knowing that if he could, that was where he would go._

_Beth waited at the fallen tree for three days before finally giving in and giving up, because if he had been alive, he would have come to her by then. It wasn't easy for her to accept that he was dead, really gone, because she had been a firm believe that he would make it through all of this, and that he would miss her when she was gone. Oh, how the tables had turned. _

_She dug a grave at the site, and since she didn't have a body to bury instead, she threw the dirt on top of his crossbow. He had been teaching her to use it, but there was no way she could load it on her own. The thought almost made her laugh, but the feeling was quickly replaced with nausea, scolding herself for even thinking for a second that this was a time to laugh. She was too weak to even handle his bow, but here she was, still alive, while Daryl was just...gone. She used a stick as a grave marker, and tied his bandana onto it, but she knew deep down she wouldn't be returning to the burial site to mourn him, she knew he'd wanna kick her ass for that. So she said her goodbyes then. She wept for him, for what they had, and for what they had lost. "I love you, Daryl." She whispered to the ground and then looked up towards the sky. "I'll miss you."_

_If Daryl had really sacrificed himself so she could live, then she would. It's not like she could go out and live her life to the fullest, but she would make sure she survived. Because of him, she was going to be the last one standing in all of this. Of that she was sure. _

Her silent tears mixed in with the water splashing at her face, but she quickly cleared her throat, not wanting 'Daryl' to question it. She sat up, cupping some of the cold water between her hands and threw it towards her face and began to scrub at her body, trying to get as much dirt and walker guts off of her as possible. Glancing from the corner of her eye, she saw her hallucination of Daryl sitting on a rock opposite her clothes, the crossbow she had buried long ago sitting in his lap, his eyes focused on her, burning holes through her soul.

Voices. There were voices. Her head snapped up and all of her movements stopped, her ears trying to pick up on anything they were saying. She was able to come to the conclusion that there were no females among the group, and that alone was enough to send her running. She shot up out of the water, grabbed her still wet clothes from the rock and hurried to pull them on. "There's still good people, Beth." It was weird how Daryl had become the little angel on her shoulder, herself the devil on the other side, but still, she wasn't going to stick around to see what these people were like. She grabbed her bag and her knife and took off running, which was especially difficult in damp jeans, but she didn't let it slow her down as she made her way back to the shack she was temporarily calling home.

**Anyone still interested?**


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